I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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