There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
