I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
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