we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
