matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He passed out mid-signature
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
