i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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