OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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