we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and she was petting her beer can
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
