I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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