He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
