Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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