I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
