Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we made out on top of his cat.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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