But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
