Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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