Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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