Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
