he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize