I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
