Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Someone shattered a urinal.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
