We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
