Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Randomize
