Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
