ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
