Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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