tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
