were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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