we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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