Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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