Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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