After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
