Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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