wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
