My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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