By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im holly from the hills drunk
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
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