Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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