Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
