I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
