When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
