At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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