just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
