I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
