i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
People in love make me want to vomit
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
