I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
