i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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