Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
