Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize