we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
