wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
