Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
