I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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