I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
